Our Story Thus Far

In 1987, a friend invited me to an autumnal equinox circle with his Pagan coven.

I had been an atheist all my life: a rational, naturalistic believer in science and reason. But I went.

I still don’t entirely know why.

It was…odd. There was drumming. The standing-in-a-circle-holding-hands was a bit uncomfortable. There was talking to Invisible Presences, though that seemed much more like symbolic action than people actually believing they existed.

But on the other hand…it was the autumnal equinox. That’s a real thing, a real event in the natural world. When was the last time I had noticed that? How connected was I to the reality of what was happening on Planet Earth?

There was a lot to like about the Paganism I first encountered. Celebration of the turning of the seasons and of the natural world appealed to my dyed-in-the-wool environmentalism, lent meaning to the passing of time. The people were warm and friendly, bright and creative and interesting.

So I went to another gathering. And I began to befriend the community of people who held them. The rituals began to feel natural, and the consistent narrative of “ancient ways” helped me to believe that we were doing something that, if not exactly like what people had done long before civilization and monotheism, was in some way related to it in its values, its wildness and its love for the Earth that sustains us.

That resonated with me. A lot. It suddenly made sense to me, that this is a way we should live, aware of the rhythms of the Earth, honoring it and grateful for all it provides for us.

I set up an altar.

I attended a big public ritual. I attended an outdoor festival.

I put on a pentacle.

In the 1980s and 90s, we didn’t really talk much about what we believed in the Pagan community. We just circled together, and what you believed was your own business. For many of us, this was simply a metaphorical practice that felt good and brought us meaning and a sense of connection to the Earth. Others subscribed to various out-there and scientifically unsupported theories such as literally existing gods, astrology and even alien visitation.

Not my problem, so long as I was free to maintain a rational atheism beside my Pagan practice. I understood the psychological benefit of rituals, the community-building. Sure, there was talk of “magic” and “gods” and quite a lot of other…shall we say, less rationally rigorous stuff. But those were metaphors, right? We were all playing let’s-pretend in order to have richer, happier, more fulfilled, more meaningful lives.

And…I figured that at least most of us understood that.

Right? Because bright people. And because many—including major figures in the movement—described “gods” and “magic” in exactly those terms.

Right?

So I was involved. And I was happy. I made friends and celebrated life and had adventures and it was, overall, good. I felt more connected with the natural world and that I had finally found My People.

And this went on for nearly 20 years. I was a happy Pagan atheist.

And then, around 2000, Issues began to develop.

For one thing, people in the community started talking about the Seriousness of Believing in Gods. About how you “couldn’t really be a Pagan” if you didn’t. Then a bunch of them decided that they were so Serious about this that they didn’t want to be called Pagans any more if others using that label weren’t as Serious as they were.

They were now “devotional polytheists”, and as far as I could tell, they were Pagan fundamentalists: you either believed what they said you should, or you were an apostate: a fake, a “LARPer”, a Not-Real-Pagan.

Or whatever.

Hmm.

Well, that didn’t square very well with my theory of personal theology in Paganism.

Caveat: It may well be that I just happened to come into the Pagan community through the wrong gateway. While there were many wonderful people there, the Church of All Worlds was not a grounded, nor high-integrity affair, fun and wild and experimental as it was*. Later, I was introduced to the Fire Circle community, where reality and integrity had a much more comfortable home.

In 2004 and 2005, I had a series of experiences which soured me on the Pagan community and made me realize just how literally many within it were taking this deity stuff. I heard excuses made for unethical and unacceptable behavior as “the gods’ will”. I saw frankly unbalanced behavior from people defended as inspired by their “gods”.

Finally, it was enough. I quit.

I took off my pentacle necklace, quit going to Pagan events, withdrew from the community, let my altar gather dust. I was through. I wasn’t going to be a part of something so divorced from reality and willing to excuse unethical behavior.

Whatever my future was going to be, it wasn’t going to be that.

But something funny happened about six months later. I was unhappy. I felt disconnected from the world, disconnected from myself. I missed my rituals and observances. I missed gatherings with my friends.

So I started mulling the question: why can’t I have them?

What is a religion, really? And by what rights or reasons did others have the ability to declare my beliefs and practices not to be one?

Good questions.

I spent about a year researching, reading, and thinking about them. The long version of that process is found in the essay I wrote at the end of it, “How I Became an Atheopagan“.

But the upshot is this: religion serves various systems of the human brain, which evolved subsequently to one another: the Reptilian Brain, the Limbic or Mammalian Brain, and the Neocortex or Thinking Brain. The rational or Thinking Brain is not the key driver of human behavior, nor happiness. So simply having a cosmology that conforms to what is most likely to be reality—as determined by the best system we have for determining that, which is the scientific method—is not enough to bring happiness or a sense of fulfillment.

This is why cosmology (what we believe) is only a part—and not the most important part—of a religion. The two other components are values, which tell us what is important and how best to live, and practices, which are the rituals and observances around which a religious community coheres and which provide the religious experience.

Every religion on Earth contains these three components.

Given this, I posited, why can’t you have a religion with a science-based cosmology? So long as you have values and observances as well which form a coherent practice, that’s a religion. Exactly as I had been practicing for more than 20 years.

I wrote the essay. I posted it online. I called the path I had defined, “Atheopaganism”.

I put back on a symbol—not a pentacle this time: too much cultural baggage, too much association with the “occult”. An acorn (since replaced with the Atheopaganism symbol, which I have begun to call a “suntree”).

I cleaned and resurrected my altar, which I began to call a Focus as a confirmation to myself that that is what it is for: not worship, not sacrifice.

And I returned to Pagan practice.

And then something amazing started to happen.

People in the community started coming up to me and confiding, “That’s what I believe, too.”

People started joining the Atheopaganism Facebook page: first in dozens, then in hundreds. Shortly, it became clear that posts and uploading files there was insufficient, and I launched this blog. Other Pagans took notice. Debate and discussion ensued.

I discovered that there were others who were living in nontheist Paganism, too, under names like humanistic Paganism or naturalistic Paganism.

And over and over, as newcomers arrived, I heard this:

Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was the only one.

This makes so much sense to me.

I’m an atheist, and my life has been feeling like it’s missing something. This intrigues me, and I’m going to give it a try.

I’m surrounded by literal theists in my coven. I’m a scientist, and I just can’t. Thank you for articulating what I believe and do.

I finally feel I have found my people.

I feel like I have come home.

It’s been so heartwarming, so confirming to hear these testimonials again and again. What we are building is something that is meeting deep human needs for many people in the world.

Of course, there was blow-back, particularly from devotional polytheists. No surprise: what we believe and do is the antithesis of what they insist Paganism must be.

I started organizing presentations at Pantheacon, the largest indoor gathering of Pagans in North America. Panels on nontheist Paganism were packed to the rafters, year after year.

In 2016, John Halstead published Godless Paganism, an anthology which incorporated several pieces of my writing, including the foreword. The book provided the experience and perspective of dozens of nontheist Pagans and stirred significant ripples in the conversation of the broader Pagan community. We began being recognized as a legitimate sector of the community after about a year of are-they-or-aren’t-they in the blogosphere.

The controversy died down. Except among the diehard fundamentalists, there appeared to be a general acknowledgement that we, too, are a part of that community.

And our numbers just continue to grow. As of this writing, nearly 1,200 people have joined our online community.

In 2017, we held our first Moon Meet gathering, In 2018, we held a second one.

In the meantime, I have devoted myself to publishing extensive resources for Atheopagans and those investigating the path to help them develop their practices: A ritual primer. An event planning guide. And more.

Supporting, encouraging and providing helpful resources for this community has become a significant part of my life.

So here we are: 2018. Like somanyothers, I have come back to Pagan practice in full flower of atheism. Our community continues to grow.

We are a religious path. We’re small, but we’re real, and we’re not going away.

We are living a way of being that integrates reason and religion, that sees to the varied needs of our complex minds without requiring subscription to the imagined as literal truth.

To my mind, that’s a remarkable thing. I find great meaning in my practice and community, and joy in being a part of the greater community as well.

Onward we go!


*I understand there are efforts now underway to correct this, and I applaud them. They are long overdue.

Advertisements

Sifting for Gold

It’s a soft, rainy spring day. I’m grateful for the rain—we need it—and for the lush green it has brought to the hills and meadows, the vineyards carpeted with bright mustard flowers.

These are such challenging times. The circumstances of my personal life are stressful and frightening; the broader culture is caught in the nightmare of Donald Trump’s willful smashing of all that is decent and righteous. Friends are struggling to make ends meet; my area is still grappling with the incomprehensible shock of last October’s wildfires.

As I said: challenging.

I find times like these—although, to be fair. there have never been times as extreme as these in my lifetime—to seriously challenge my Atheopagan practice and living. “What’s the point?” is an easy place to land. And in times when dystopian futures seem to dominate our fiction and our cultural media, the idea of a better future just seems steadily to be receding away from us.

More than ever, though, this is when the restorative power of Atheopagan practice is what we need.

Get out into nature. Breathe clean air and see some green, some beauty. Beauty is restorative for us humans. It helps us to carry on.

Listen to music that moves and inspires you.

Dust off that Focus (altar); clean it and rearrange it. Light a candle. Burn some incense. Put on that piece of ritual jewelry and wear it under your clothes, carrying the special secret of your spiritual life with you. Murmur magic words. Get your practice going again: just do it.

Watch something uplifting and hopeful. Read a book that makes you cry with happiness. Go to an art museum…or a natural history museum, and revel in the marvels of the works of humanity and of nature.

Spend time with those you love. Tell them so. Talk about things that are real.

Do something for the world. Volunteer for a nonprofit, or a political campaign. Spend an hour writing postcards to voters in another state: it’s easy, personal, and effective.

Help someone.

No gold pan ever contained nothing but gold. We must swish and sift and have patience. We must do the work of reminding ourselves how amazing, how precious it is that we have this life, and of the glittering jewels that populate it even when so much is gray.

What we can’t do is sit and do nothing as our mood and sense of wonder and joy in living slowly collapse.

Consider the recently departed Dr. Stephen Hawking (1942-2018), a man who overcame tremendous physical challenges to live a life filled with wonder, curiosity, love, discovery and adventure. The outpouring of love and appreciation following his death make it clear that his was a life richly and completely lived.

If he could do it, we all can.

We are not the kinds of people who age into bitterness. We have tools and strategies to keep that fate away from us, if we choose to use them. We understand the technologies of happiness and meaning. We know how to make them; we must simply choose to do so.

There is gold to be sifted from our days—even these days. It’s on us to find ways to be happy and functional even when circumstances conspire to make it hard.

Go get the joy, friends. Rediscover what makes you happy and excited.

Be happy. It’s contagious.

 

 

 

Summer’s End, New Beginnings

The “cross-quarter” Sabbath between Midsummer (the solstice) and Harvest (the autumnal equinox) is a bit of a stepchild Sabbath for many Pagans. This is High Vacation Season, and many are off on adventures or otherwise occupied with the social season of summer. Not only that, but it marks the beginning of the autumn season, and in most places, that just doesn’t square with what is actually happening.

Here, I detect the signs of Summer’s End at this time, but they are subtle. Blackberries have ripened, ready for cobbler and pie and all the wonderful things. The climate is firmly in the fog/heat cycle of coastal California: hot days which persist until the low-pressure zone formed by heat inland draws the cool, moist air in from the ocean, at which point we have foggy mornings which burn off to perfect, temperate afternoons. Acorns and grapes are ripening, but not quite ready, yet; they will be when Harvest rolls around. But the seedtops are full in the hay meadows, and they are being mowed and bailed now.

And there is something in the angle of the light, in the hard blue of the skies that says to me the days are shortening, the darkness is coming. It is no longer June.

Sometimes, I like to celebrate this harvest traditionally, by making bread, or perhaps creating a “Corn Man” of woven grain stalks or corn husks which can preside over the Summer’s End ritual and be saved for burning in the Hallows fire.

This year, I prefer a very special kind of First Harvest.

Since 2010, I have been sowing and tending seeds in the form of the Atheopagan community. Developing my thinking about religion and Paganism, writing my essay, launching the blog and Facebook group, presenting at Pantheacon have all been steps towards building a viable, well-resourced community of nontheist celebrants of the glorious Cosmos and generous Earth.

So this year, my Summer’s End will be something’s beginning: the first in-person gathering specifically for nontheist Pagans. Moon Meet.

It’ll be small. Beginnings usually are. I’m not worried about that; I think it’s much more important that it be heartfelt and joyful and creative and fun. Those are my targets for the event and I’m confident we will attain them.

Summer’s End in northern California is, like every Sabbath, also a beginning: a beginning of a season of hot days, the grape harvest, abundant vegetables, inevitable wildfires, and growing darkness. And for me, this year—hopefully, for our broader community and movement—a beginning of a new chapter in our evolution.

I can’t wait!